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AS I was reading through one of my private blogs, which addresses I gave no one, and also a few of my past hand-written journals, I was actually struck in awe of the audacity and my sense of writing displayed in it. =) Not that it contained any malevolent towards anyone, but still it did had and have a certain element of meaness and another side of me that I showed no one.
Okay, this is one of my entries written in my private blog:
(Extract from the blog entry named "Defination")
Even if a man lay dead lying at the roadside, if given a choice no one would give a damn about him. All they do was walked all over him. Happiness is essential in their life. But their very own happiness is created by their own illusion, self-comforting and ignorance. And their happiness does not exist. Who said love could bring everything together? Didn't they know love could be transfer from one person to another? Only memories determine and define love itself. But however, if a man were to lost his memories, will he sill love his very own beloved? No, I can assure you he won't. He will find a new partner, a new love. However when his memories return, he will be deeply confuse. Who did he really love? From this case itself, we saw clearly that love could be transfer, it is an illusion itself. Only memories made us love. So to be exact, we only love memories itself and no other.We are all lies created by ourselves to confuse and filled our emotions needs. WE ARE ALL NOTHINGNESS.
Tuesday, May 24, 2005
Wow, a rather strong entry isn't it? It's written last year when things and my optimisium started to go hay-wired. That was the beginning when I started to find an insatiable thrill with the feeling of the cold, hard metal of my pen knife against my soft, tender skin of my wrist. It thrilled me more that with a bit of strength I can cause an ugly red mark on my pale beige skin. =) Those insatiable joy, is beyond the understanding of ordinary joy felt by normal human beings.
And then there were more freakish entry which I rather not blog here in case you shall think I'm an eligible candidate for the asylum. I was rather insane then. But it was then.
And well, there's a lot of childish entries. Some even filled with girlish thoughts and fantasies. Yes, Yun Xian and girlish do not go well together. But I was only a child then. Again it was then.
And there was another side of me that was rather different from the "now" me. Something different but I can't really fathom what. Maybe it's the hard way I take life right now. Or maybe, it's just the thoughts that's flooding my head. Or maybe there's no difference really, just that time toughten some spirits and moulds a different craving and faith.
And then there was another public blog of mine badgurl010719189.blogspot.com, which displayed another side of me. More dreamy, I think.
=) Bye. Have fun reminisce the past with me!!!!!!
Okay, this is one of my entries written in my private blog:
(Extract from the blog entry named "Defination")
Even if a man lay dead lying at the roadside, if given a choice no one would give a damn about him. All they do was walked all over him. Happiness is essential in their life. But their very own happiness is created by their own illusion, self-comforting and ignorance. And their happiness does not exist. Who said love could bring everything together? Didn't they know love could be transfer from one person to another? Only memories determine and define love itself. But however, if a man were to lost his memories, will he sill love his very own beloved? No, I can assure you he won't. He will find a new partner, a new love. However when his memories return, he will be deeply confuse. Who did he really love? From this case itself, we saw clearly that love could be transfer, it is an illusion itself. Only memories made us love. So to be exact, we only love memories itself and no other.We are all lies created by ourselves to confuse and filled our emotions needs. WE ARE ALL NOTHINGNESS.
Tuesday, May 24, 2005
Wow, a rather strong entry isn't it? It's written last year when things and my optimisium started to go hay-wired. That was the beginning when I started to find an insatiable thrill with the feeling of the cold, hard metal of my pen knife against my soft, tender skin of my wrist. It thrilled me more that with a bit of strength I can cause an ugly red mark on my pale beige skin. =) Those insatiable joy, is beyond the understanding of ordinary joy felt by normal human beings.
And then there were more freakish entry which I rather not blog here in case you shall think I'm an eligible candidate for the asylum. I was rather insane then. But it was then.
And well, there's a lot of childish entries. Some even filled with girlish thoughts and fantasies. Yes, Yun Xian and girlish do not go well together. But I was only a child then. Again it was then.
And there was another side of me that was rather different from the "now" me. Something different but I can't really fathom what. Maybe it's the hard way I take life right now. Or maybe, it's just the thoughts that's flooding my head. Or maybe there's no difference really, just that time toughten some spirits and moulds a different craving and faith.
And then there was another public blog of mine badgurl010719189.blogspot.com, which displayed another side of me. More dreamy, I think.
=) Bye. Have fun reminisce the past with me!!!!!!
posted by b£ü®ģü®£ @ 12:41 PM
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