What is heaven like?

When I woke up this morning, I was thinking what heaven feel like? What detemines our existence to live? Who am I? All these weird thoughts started to swirled around my heard, bombarding me with senseless questions. So I decided to actually used my imagination to answer one of the world's greatest unknown. What heaven feels like?

Okay, now lets' presume heaven does exist. So what's next, you're going to ask. Yes, I shall answer your very pondering question: what heaven actually like?

You know, when you think of heaven, you'll naturally linked it to the topic of religion. But since I said I'll use my imagination to make up heaven, so let's just say that the words and complications of religion won't be included in this entry.

Now, in my opinion, heaven is like a doll house.=) Yes, it's just a doll house but a very personalised doll house. And you are the doll, that goes without saying. And how does this doll house look like?

Journey of HEAVEN:
1) When you first arrive at heaven, you will arrive at the entrance of this gigantic gate called "The Gates of DIY making" (DIY stands fo "do it yourself of course =))



Nice? Of course, there will be a small lettering saying "ENTER at your own risk!!" But since in heaven hor, the only place to go is over there, so you bo bian, die die also have to enter whether you like it or not. But of course, if you don't want go the through the gate also fine. Then you have nothing to do loz, can't even die again. NVM.

2) After entering the gate, you will start to see people, or perharps, I should called them souls? And our here, there will be queues. Two different queues to be exact. And it will be like this:


Yeah, also there will be other headings beside the "special request", "VIP only" and " common pple". And you are going to ask, what so speacial about VIP? Now, my dear, VIP means very important people and thus, as you can see from the picture, VIP has shorter queue. Which means unlike the "common people" queue, you don't need to wait for a day and camp there but just need to flash your card and wait for fifteen minutes then you will reach your turn. and of course, there will be some people who are so bu yao lian, think they VIP then will queue there, but later kenna kick out, then everyone will "boo" them.

And what does it takes to be a VIP?
1) You must contribute to the society for a least one time, like inventor of mp3, air-conditioners, etc. (the list goes on..)
2) OR you have to do at lest 365 good deeds in your life and also do not abuse your wifes, respect girls, etc...=)

3)So after you reach the queue you will be asked to fill up a form. AND this form is very important!!!! And they will ask questions like these:

When do you think is the happiness moment in your life?
Who do you want to be in your life?
Who do you want to be?
ETC...

4)And after you filled up this form, you'll have to go to another queue. WHAT!?!?!!?! So troublesome, you asked. Yes, indeed, my dear, afterall creating heaven is a very tedious job. And BTW, these queues range from" HDB housing", "cheap renting" "condominium", etc.

5) And of course, because you are following my journey through my heaven, I'm going to queue for the "white house" kind of queue.

6) After that, when I reach the queue, a faceless gentleman will ask me,, "Can I help you, madam?" and will attempt to smile at me. However, since he is faceless, the attempt failed horribly, but I still mastered up my most polite smile and said, " Yes please, sir" .

7) He will then use his superb photoshop, digital skill and will create my perfect heaven just a mouse click away!!! Now, over here, you can choose your heaven to be whatever you want!!!! For some people, those wedding fanatics, they will make the scene to be their wedding and the whole scene will be repeated over and over again!!! The groom will be created by clay and you will be the one to control everything!! However, some saddists and cynics people will create scene of murders, etc, and that's is where the word "hell" come from. Also, not to forget, some religious people will create a God then, live inside it so that their religion will be true for them.

And of course, all these are make-believe. =) When you get sick of the heaven you create, you can get out of the doll house and recreate another. No rules here in heaven afterall.

Now, what kind of heaven will you create?

Another day

I woke up with a slight migrane today. My eye bags are growing darker and deeper. But somehow, I'm surprised that I even found the strenght to drag myself out of my bed and go to work at all. I exhausted, really exhausted.

For the first time I don't feel like elaborating on my day at all.


Haiz.

Plans for my days

Hi, how are you guys? In the feative mood of new year? Well, to tell you the truth, I personally find it tedious to celebrate new year so many times, it seemed absurb since we only have ONE calendar to follow around the stupid 365 days of earth rotating the sun anyway.

BTW, I really don't feel like bloging but still, since somebody compared the analogy between my blog's entries and the word "boring", I decided to give up the notions of not blogging and attempt to bore the person to death!!!!! Muhahaha..........!!!!!!!!

So my days been like that lox. Very boring and uninteresting. Like today:

Today's task:
1) Wake up on time, if possible.
2) Get to work without dying halfway in exasperation of conversing with visitors.
3) Drag myself home and get some sleep.
4) And my day is OVER!!

How very interesting is my day!! 3 cheers for Yun Xian!!! BLAH!!! Yesterday I went on my friend's motobike for a ride. Sadly, it wasn't as awesome as I thought but still it wasn't as bad as comprehand. That's all that ever happen yesterday. BYE!! Till then! =)

Weird dreams

Two days ago I had a nightmarish nightmare, which in simple terms means that basically I just had a nightmare! Now, now, don't just claim that only six years old kids are huanted by nightmares, but well, how about when you sixteen and you dreamt that you are about to die? Or worst still, your whole close akins and friends are going to die with you?

Now, let me begin the narrating of this very simple dream:

Setting:
At the year of 2006, sitting at an MRT train.

Charactors:
My family ( Mum, Dad and sister), friends ( the list goes on) and random strangers.

What happened?!?!?!!?!?! :
Now, I know clearly that after writhing and narrating my nightmares down, some extreme people will say that I'm a indiscriminating Malaysians driscriminator. But hor, whatever lah. It's just a dream anyway, it's not like I could help control it. So here goes:

I'm sat on my MRT. I don't know how it happen but quite suddenly, my family members were right beside me. Of course, me and Mommy sat together, while sister and Daddy were on the adjacent side. But then again, it happened, as dreams always do, some transitions never really did make sense. Quite suddenly again, Daddy and Sister were on the far end of the MRT, while me and Mommy on the other. And I remembered clearly that I was at Braddell MRT, then Tao Payoh, then Braddell again. BTW, I used to live at Braddell, so that's explained why I'm there.

So, all of a sudden, ( Dear, dear, you will find that I'll be using the term "all of a sudden" as dreams often used to appear in this form)there were soldiers rushing in invading the place. I couldn't really fathom whether it's Singapore's or the enemy's one. So anyway, we were inform that Malaysia is Raging a war in Singapore!!!* grasp* But anyway, the main point is we were told that there's bomb going to kill us all in a matter of minutes and that's when I started rummaging for my handphone ( which was an O2=P) , but I was so nervous I couldn't send the sms-es I wanted to send. That's when for once I knew what minutes before impending death felt like. I was thinking, telling everyone I love them. Afterall, I don't want to regret that they never knew how much I love them until they died or I died. I was thinking about all the person close to me all at the same time. And I wait, braced myself for the final attack.... AND I WOKE UP!!!!! My Mum woke me up precisely so I never really knew what happen in the end. What a pity!

That's all for today, I'm tired. Bye.

Ban of barbie dolls

Hi, a very good evening my dear ladies and gentlemen. How are you of sort lately? Been great, my friend? I shall assume so since you BLOODY can't answer and I BLOODLY do this to annoy your very delicate and taunt nerves. =D

Anyway, just for your information, my life's been great lately=D. So great that even my mother could see me lying right through my teeth right now. However, due to polite formalities, we shall ignore the unslightly break down of tone in my words and carries on with the meddlesome details of my blog entries.

Just thought that you be interested. This is a short, very short reason why barbie dolls should be discourage from the playrooms of little girls at a very young age.

Very simple. Reason number one and the only reason:
Barbie dolls encourage materialistic mindset of very young, delicated minds of females, teaching them the importance of superior and deceiving outlook that every (note my word, every) female should posses. Now, do you get what I mean?

Barbie dolls have flawless skin, with every inches of ever growing, long legs. A slender and pretty face added to the overwhelming features, while even her clothes ooze an uncalled, appealing sense of femininity.

Now, once again, I like to clarify myself that I have adsolutely no sense of hatred build for beautiful females. I myself, personally, thinks that every females and men are beautiful and that the assets of femininity should be admire and glaze upon. However, much to the world's sense of ignorance, they have created what we girls called a role model for superficial looks and that creation is a very simple, every-girls dream--the barbie doll.

In it as we played. I like to thank God that in fact I had never actually taken a true liking for dolls (esp, barbie dolls). Anyway, my point is, if from young you are cultivating little, young girls to glance at barbie dolls as a role model, there's no doubt that you are actually instilling inside of them a sense of materialistic that they will grow up practicing this "faith". Now, barbie dolls make girls think that they have to look PERFECT to be pretty that even the slightest imperfection can cause one to call upon methods like eating disorder and drugs as "remedies". It's saddening because there is no better methods to preach the worshipping of beauty and materialism than is done with these unseemingly, defenceless dolls. In all, it just takes one sense of reality away as these poor little kids set out to obtain and pursue the immortality exterior physique and brings pain for the years to come. For this obivious reason, I, therefore, do not encourage anyone to meddle with these dolls as they preach a very saddening messages in each of them.

The DREGS of society of mankind.

I met lots of rude people recently. The funny thing is, they actually look alike with the same hairstyle. FUNNY,FUNNY,FUNNY. And to commemorate their diaster haircut, I shall then post a picture with great resemblance to them.

TA-DA!!!!

Nice, right? The haircut so pretty, I'm sure all of you are dying to cut one right now. And seriously, without kidding, they really resemble the look of this poodle dog. Well, just don't ask me why they prefer this, perharps, rude people have an eccentirc taste of their own that we will never understand. However, by stating their great resemble to this poor, unfortunate poodle dog, I'm only refering to their hair or rather fur-cut. Afterall, I do feel indignant (for the dogs) if I unwittingly insulted the nature of the cute poodle dogs.

Okay, so now don't get this started, don't say I'm a huge meanie because I'm not. I know what you going to say, come on, I'm sure they don't look like that. Then I'm going to retort right back that if I had a camera I'll snapped the three poodle-look-alike girls and you probaly going to exclaim in total enlightement, " WOW, what new breeding of dogs is that ?!?!?!?!". Now, fuck off if you don't agree with what I said because they are indeed a stupid mentally-challenged poodle-like bitches which you don't normally encountered on the street. They are so mentally challenged that you are surprise that they even speak or bark human language at all. But sad to note, they did not even have a tiny bit of humanity in them.

Now, I met one of the superior bitch on the MRT. And note this I was holing on to the pole for assurance of support and this bitch decided that she was Miss whatever-I'm-so-good-and-kind and literally LEANED on my arms for around 5 MRT stops. And of course, after that 5 stops, she suddenly turned around and said, I thought you'll grow some senses to move to the back of the MRT. I mean, FUCK!!! The MRT hers is it? Why should I make way for one bitch so that she gets the chance to hog and lean on the pole for support for the rest of her fuck-off journey? And this damn bitch pushed me away violently to move to the back and give me her fucked-up face. She literally use her stupid umbrella to STAB my leg, okay!!! So I was like, what the heck is this poodle dog stepping all over me and thus I mumbled under my breath about her being rude and noncesical. She, in response, whirled around and use her umbrella and stabbed on my leg AGAIN!!! And when I asked her why did she did that for, she exclaimed, "well, you deserve it." Of course after that enough is enough, for that entire few second I was seriously considering the prospect of lunging at her and kicking her bitched-up face until she cry and apologise. But restraining from that I just looked at her and said " Well then, lady reflect on your words, with that kind of ATITTUDE you're not going to get the slightess respect from anybody including me." And she was really screaming hysterically after that behind my back for the next few minutes. I was actually worried that she might pull my hair and strike me behind my unsuspecting back.

DAMN lah.

I'm so angry about this bitch lah that I don't even have the strength to actually bitch talk the other two bitches that crossed my path. What lar. I mean, people not your servant okay? DAMN. !##%^$&*&^ They're just dregs of humankind. A big disgrace.

Anyway, that's all for today. I apologise if you find my entry degrading with unethical insults. I seriously already lose my head when I recalled these unpleasant moments. Sometimes, it only takes a spoiled and impolite brat to spoil your whole entire day. I had mine spoiled yesterday with the MRT bitch and today with the made in japan self-righteous brats. URGHH!!! Let's pray that tomorrow's a better day.

Since I am actually free right now (temporary), I shall steal this time and blog.

I decided to give up being secrecy to certain subject which mean I won't criticise or form any silent opinion about others and blog about them anonymously at my blog. Because i realised that's a good way to keep you and your entries misunderstood and also a good way to spoil a good friendship.=)

Anyway, I'm just so overwhelmed by tides of fatigue everyday! When I went home I totally find sleep an attractive way to spend my time idling my days away. Erm, and there's a word called "dream" and I visited many nightmares and fairy tale at the same time. I remembered once a person told me that I dwell more alive when I dream then when I'm awake. She told me it's my way of running away from reality. And since I promise not to blog about others annnoymously, thus I shall reveal her name(although she wasn't anybody) and she's none other then my primary school teacher. It's a long, long story about how she told me this. So long I forgot how.

Actually, a few of my friends told me they going to write up a rule and regulations in their blog so that pple will not abuse their ability to comment. Well, for me my rule is NO RULE!!!! I mean, who cares about what people tag? If everything must be control you lose your original voice already! So scold as many vulgarities as you like!!! Insult me in whichever ways you like!!!!! And flood my tagboard in nonsensical ways as you like!!! I will welcome any form of vulgarities/insults/malicious words/nosensical/plain crap at my tagboard!!!! In my opinion, the world should be free from any form of obligations/ rules/ conformities!! And that's the precise reason why God planted tree of knowledge in the middle of the garden of Eden. By doing that, he's giving us a reason to choose and set a line between us and the roborts!!!=D

Anyway, I read an article about a mother viewing the world's biggest tragic happened to her child. No no natural disaster this time, if not I'll be smiling my conspiring smile. But in fact, it's just a normal everyday tale that maybe you had been in the child's situation or still have. The story:

Because Lilee ( let's call the girl of six Lilee because I always thought Lilee was a sweet name! =D) was younger than any other kids playing at the playground, she was always struck being made to run errands or doing the dirty job of the crowds. She was constantly bullied because she was young, look down on because of her size and left out because she couldn't fit in. Everyday as her mother watched her little angel through the small window of her kitchen, she watched with the mounting bittersweet taste of heartache in her mouth. She was paralyze and helpless to help as this is Lilee own fight. She watched as her child cried and tried to fit around in vain but was once again pushed to her edge.

Now, one day little Lilee sat on the swing all alone. She watched as her "friend" had fun and wished longingly to join in. She sat in one corner quietly and quite suddenly jerked in to life and shouted "MUM!!!!!". She ran all the way from the playground into the living room and to the kitchen and shouted loudly, "THE LOLLIPOPS!! THE LOLLIPOPS!! GIVE ME THE LOLLIPOPS, QUICK!!!" Her Mum hesitated for a moment but glancing at her daughter's excited face gave the lollipops, Lilee's precious birthday gift, to her without a question asked. And pretty, little Lilee ran all the way from the kitchen to the living room and back to the playground, stopped and panted for her breath before approaching the bigger kids. And what do you think she did next? Yes, little Lilee gave her precious birthday gift away, which she herself hesitated to eat to the big bullies, the older kids. Her mother watched as the kids crowded over her one by one and snatched the lollipops from her, a big grin on their face without a word of gratitude. In the end, she was left standing there only with wrappers and also, in we exchange for her lollipops they had left her disappointment and tears with dwindling excitement.

Now, why do you think I judged this as one the world tragedy? Because how many of us will give up everything, something totally precious to ourselves only to lose them all in one risk and to face disappointment instead? Her tragic can happen to any of us-- you, me, someone you really care about. And these just show the simple psychology of what can a child is prepare to give in the name of "peer pressure". It's saddening because all around us we heard on news of kids committing juvenile crimes so that they can fit in better, gain acceptance from friends. It's saddening really because in the end just for acceptance some will give up everything including their conscience, their life.

Anyway, that's all for today. Long entry.

Today I thougth the world is coming to an end. And I thought abother tsunami is going to blown us all away. Why?!?!?!?! Because I thought the world had stop spinning. And WHY?!?!!?!

Because nothing seem to be happenning today!!!!!

And I woke up in a boring Sunday morning. Went through my boring trival rountine. Take the boring MRT. And work the boring job. But then there's something different today. It's that there's this boring emergency exercise that made me struck in the middle of nowhere ( although Bishan wasn't nowhere) and I couldn't even cal back to work place becase I am so stupid as to not save the museum's number. And so here I was blogging about my boring experience because without blogging then it's too boring to stay alive.=D

Yipee! Today is my off day, so I figure I owe my blog an entry sick I was so free anyway.=D

Anyway, so here I was reminiscing the past, recalling all the tiny details about my childhood when I remembered all my "unsophisticated" thoughts and opinions. Here goes:

At the scene of a shopping mall ( Toa Payoh's NTUC second floor)..
Me: Wow, look at that!!! He's sitting on a wheel chair!!! * glazed with enviously at the old man in white shirt"
Mum: Don't be stupid, and make way for him. *pushing me away*
Me: What?!?!?!?! I want to be just like him when I grow up.
Mum: You don't understand and stop saying stuff like that.

Come on. I was barely six then. Of course the man on the wheel chair seemed so cool to me. In actual reality, I thought he was sitting on an ultra- large pram!!! Yes, pram!!! And I was so envious because being a kid I hardly sat on the pram and I envious them (those spoil brats) who were always wheeled around with those proud smirk and big lollipops in their hand. And therefore I had concluded (then) that my life dream and goal is to be wheeled around in one big pram and the old man perfectly suited my picture of an perfect heavenly bliss.=D But years later, I realised that he sat there because he lost his ability to walk and I don't want that to happen to me so my life dream is gone.

So I was being a diligent girl working in the museum when I saw an old lady sitting in an wheelchair being wheeled around. And I said out loud wistfully, "you know (of course they don't know), I used to want to sit in a wheelchair like this. It was my dream when I was young.." Wrong move. Accompanied by my short statement were loud grasps and the screaming "are you crazy?" by my fellow colleagues. And it was then I fervently explain my misunderstood, considered as "deranged" thoughts, saying that I was young and ignorant then and blah, blah blah...

Now that adsorb in conformities, isn't it? =D Nevermind, we shall forget the little espidso on this.

The next most inane thoughts in my mind is that I wanted flooding/draughts/ hurricane/any other disasters etc... to happen in Singapore. And yes, when I told my mum, she told my to shut up. I mean, can anyone honesty tell me that they don't want a disaster to happen to Singapore? Okay, maybe not when they older and able to reason but how about when all of us are young and imaginative? I'm sick of people saying "no natural disaster in Singapore... it's protected...Etc" Fuck!! What makes you think God won't play Mr impossible on us? Haha. But now I'm old and able to reason my desire for natural disaster have fallen. =D Now don't worry, I won't gloat over all those people who died or lost their families in the tsunami or something. It's really different if you consider the aftermath of disaster. Afterall, I still want to keep my house intact, not blown away in a hurricane. It's nice to see one though.=D

Reminisce the past

I was reminisced about the past the past few days. About the times I should have treasured but let go. About the teeny, weeny bit of details that made up my life.

On Monday's night, a strong overwhelming feeling of deju wu swept over me. I was left nostaligic about the past, a ragdoll hanging on the thin string of memories. For a few moment I thought I was going to break down and cry but I didn't. Everything is over, isn't it? Even no matter how hard I cling on, it's over. A certain part of my life is past, it's in past tense. Even if I had all the money in the world, I couldn't buy time, a chance to start anew.

I asked a few of my friends. If one day they could have a chance and only a chance to start anew, would they? If everything even the ending is different, would they still take the chance and risk it? I would. I want to. I am not good at living in the present and the future but I'm good at lingering in the past. I want everything revert!!!

Anyway, I spent my these few days being a what the public called "couch potato". My life is made up of boring jigg saw puzzle that fills my life activities. My schedule is fully pack for the next few weeks off day, which is good, although I lost track of who I'm suppose to go out with. But needless to say, this is what life after secondary school is. Everybody will be furiously asking one another out, trying to cling or savage any friendship they could hang on to. I know I won't be on their mind for too long. One day, I'll still be a piece of memories folded at the back of their mind like an abandoned clothes at the back of the wardrode. But right now I make use of whatever little time I have or was it a "had" already?

The new girly, nerdy YUN XIAN =D

Today is the day when my life seemed to ressemble the word of a "boring haze". Beside the fact that it's my off day ( which is right now ), I don't think that there's anything worth looking forward to.

Anyway, my insane state of msn automatically sign in itself again. No matter how I click on the tiny scribble word of "exit", it seemed to satisfy itself with annoying me by discreetly defianting against my command. I'm really starting to think that this incredulous msn has a spirit of it's own.

I'll be going out later. To orchard or causeway point. Jason is going away to Australia!!! Can you believe it? I'm going to miss him very much [and so is some other specific person=)]. Anway, I totally hate this. It's as if everyone's leaving. No, no, you all just can't leave the poor, pathetic Yun Xian all by herself!!!!! Damn. It's like gripping on to the wind itself. Holding on to it, and when you unclutch your hand, there's nothing there.

Well, talking about New Year's resolution, I recalled a recent joke my colleuge, Angela, made. Well, I shall not write it here, in case it incur the wrath of the others. =) He-he, it's a mean one. And yeah, I did plan my New Year's resolution. Here:

1)This year, Yun Xian will try ( yes, try only. I didn't say she will ) to be a good girl and be conform by conformities so that everyone will stop refering her to nick names like "uniquely insane", "weird" or "eccentric". =D


2) Also, since she was such a good girl, she decided to pretend to be a bit nice this year by smiling the senile smile she mastered so that everyone will happen to think of her as innocent. And of course secretly, she's going to laugh her evil, conspiring laughter behind their back, going "WAHAHAHA"

3) Okay, since after performing such dutiful act to the first two resolutions, she'll probably be such a nice person in everyone's eyes and that is when she'll perform her third resolution--fighting for world peace. Etc, getting all emotional when someone said Osama is here, or makes jokes about the aftermaths of disaster. And by stating it as "getting all emotional" means that she will proclaim commiting suicide if anyone is to say the word "Osama" out loud. And she will goes something like this " Oh God, Lord from above I pray, please tranform Osama into this incredible nice guy...etc" And if anyone mention "terrorists", she'll wail and moan and say " For god and for world peace, if anyone have any thoughts of destroying the world, just vent it on me...etc" But well, of course we all know she doesn't mean that.=)

4) And her forth is to try to pretend to be a nerd. Afterall, everyone in the right mind will associate "nerd" with the words "guai", "samaritin" and "intelligent". And that's what Yun Xian strive to be. She will be a life-sized, lengendary nerd. And with every sentence everyone speaks, she will go "Ahh... what words of wisdom.." or " As William shakesphere/ Newton/ Confusis had said....". She will strike everyone and stunned them by her profound wisdom and speak words with a minimum of three syllables letters. Of course fervently pushing up her spectacles and clapping her hands at every given speech by Prime Minister won't hurt her carreer of being a nerd either.

5) And yes, last but not least, she will try her very best to be like a girl. Now that shut Jeremy up for saying she's a 60% boy and a 40% girl. And by doing that she'll walk like a girl, speak like a girl and act like a girl.
Walking : She will walk with small, girly steps with the maximum of 2cm apart from each step she takes. And also, to add to the image, she'll probably sing a soft tiny, girly tune while she walks.
Dress: She will doll herself up with only pink stuff, occasionally with pure white and baby blue. She'll wear long, long skirt and giggle (remember to cover your mouth, Yun) when anyone comment she's a gentle lady.
Talk: Her favourite words will be " Oh dear", "I'm so scare...", "Oh my goodness", "How horrible.." or " I just can't imagine that". Of course added to the background noise are the soft grasps, groaning and sniffing. Now, also, a gentle reminder to our precious Yun Xian is that NO SWEARING is allow. Afterall, we all know nice girls don't swear. =)
Thinking: She will think like a girl!!! FOR ONCE!!! She will imagine that the story of Cinderalla, Sleeping beauty, Little mermaid and Snow white are true. Her eyes will pool with tears whenever people were to mention the word of "prince" and of course she will kiss the picture of the prince at ger story book every night before she goes to sleep. Her bed will of course be stuff with toys like barbies and CUTE teddy bears and she will make breakfast, tea, dinner and etc for them. The walls of her bedroom will be covered with pink and flowery wallpaper and with poster of different angles of her prince. She go " ahh", tears gleaming in her eyes and all whenever she thinks of her prince in shinny armor is coming to her castle to rescue her from the evil witch ( her mother) of the north ( north because woodlands is located at north).

Now, I'm finish with that already. I'm sure everyone is looking forward to the new, girly, nerdy, kinder 2006 Yun Xian, right? =) Yes, she'll probably a dream come true in everyone's mind.