I dunnoe friends are so critical. I always thought that I can be watever in fornt of the pple I noe... then I was wrong as usual. Maybe U think I'm overreacting by usual, but I'm not. Istill have a certain sane in me that I can't deny. For goodness' sake, I plead u and beg you,please dun judge me or at least keep it to yourself so that I can't see and can't read. I think a few pple ight think I'm talking bout them. I just read something I wish I did not read, it's obvious the person talking bout me. In a way I felt backstabbed, a worst feeling that sad because it's hurt. And it still hurt, and IT IS HURTING even right now. I felt differnent, it's not easy to feel this way. I felt like U betrayed my trust and my opinion of you. I noe pple critised me behind my back, said stuff. But you too? Why you? Why you? I thought and I used to think that pple might still break my fall sometimes but I was wrong then. But I was mre wrong now to doubt this beliuef because U break my trust, in a way I felt U killed a bit of me. U are not who I think U were. U were being you but I fooled myself that U might just understand. Thank god I read what you wrote just now. I understand, I wo't even blame you. It's not your fault, it's mine for believing u. I fooled myself, u didn't fool me.

I wonder why I tell you so much things. Do you even understand? Do you even listen? Or you hear but did not listen. I'm tired of unfuitful relationship like this. Sometimes pple asked y I locked myself up. Now you noe the answer. The answer is another disappointment that pple brought in my life. But it's not their fault. I trust too much, I believe too much, I fool myself too much.

I promised I'll never trust again