Can somebody stop this cycle? Sometimes I wonder if blog is a good thing or a bad thing. I mean here are pple voicing out their opinion and I mean, some venting out their anger. But it cause lots of misunderstanding due to tonsa of unspoken words and I admit I'm totally guilty about it..

Today is saturday. I felt neuseated just thinking sbout5 it. I mean the whole day with nothing to do. I doesn't sepell boring but it's aren't exactly exciting etither.

I realli felt second rated seriously. I mean bad grades, bad me. I don't really felt much dissappointment and I don't realli care about my result. But I felt like I am a dissappointment. Because I was happy about my result then, up until somebody cried because she got the same grade as my shit result. Then I started to feel as if my result is shit. Then I felt shit to be even happy about it. Then everything seemed shit because I get a shit result and I'm happy about it and it WAS shit and I was shit because I was happy about something that was so cheap. Cheap grades, I am second rated because I get shit result. And I felt unworthy to actually be called a student because of my shit result. Because I felt disgustingly happy about the shit and because I am a disappointment to everyone around me. But then again you would never understand.


Seriously I was very relived in getting my result and I was very happy then. But I don't know somebody's tears will kill me so much. I felt as if I SHOULD be sad instead of happy. And I think I am a disgrace to be living in this world and it is an even disgracing thing to call myself a chinese. And the worst thing is that I am actually happy then about my shit result which I toatally have no right to because pple is crying bout my result. But the thing is I actualli dunnoe how I should feel but I definately feel disgrace right now.